A few weeks ago, I posted Dating Secrets Every Asian Must Know, which described my experience being matchmade by my cousin. Here’s an update! It hasn’t gone anywhere. Nope. Not even a little. In fact, it may have moved me a few steps back since I basically came out to the world as Asian. Surprise!!! According to OkCupid, Asian females reply to White males (29%) more than Asian males (22%).
Fortunately, I have made progress in other areas, like coming up with a series of awesome pick-up lines. I recently came across a buzzfeed called 52 Hilarious #ActivistPickUpLines for Valentine’s Day. “Would you like to redistribute resources by taking me out to dinner?”
As I read through the post, I thought to myself “I could do that!” And so I did….that…and got a pretty good response from my Facebook friends (way more responses than my birthday). Here ya go!
Activist Pickup Lines
- I’m not saying you should give every guy in here an equal chance of going out with you. It should be equitable…so me first, right?
- Working with refugee and immigrant communities has made me very culturally competent. I can now tell you that “I love you” in 3 Asian languages, 4 Afraican dialects, American sign language, and Spanish. I can also say, “You food is so delicious, but I am full. No seriously, I can’t eat another bite. My stomach is going to explore. Get away from me before I stab you with these chopsticks!”
- I think we need to slow down. Our relationship just went from micro to macro.
- 2-4-6-8 I just need a freakin’ date!
- Honey, I know you’re tired and overworked after picketing over $15 minimum wage, but I got community needs too!
Nonprofit Pickup Lines
- How’d you like to help me with my work life balance?
- Guess what sweetie? I’ve created a five-year strategic plan for our relationship.
- Hey baby, wanna come over to my place and eat the leftovers from a community gathering tonight. There’s some injera, half a spring roll, and a tofu banh mi.
- Before I go out on a date with you, can you please describe the outcomes and outputs. What’s your vision for success?
Asian Pickup Lines
- Seeing you makes my face turn red with passion. No, I haven’t been drinking! Ok fine, but only half a beer. Ok fine! It was a shirley temple.
- Interracial couples are sooo adorable. But seriously, my parents would kill me if they ever found out that I was dating a Vietnamese Communist girl from Hanoi.
- Ever been with a Nguyener? Watanbe (this one is cross-cultural, get !? ahahaha)
- Seeking intelligent, strong, API woman leader who isn’t afraid to see me cry while watching the Superbowl.
And a few contributions from my friends (thanks everyone!)…
- Ngo means yes.
- Lets make Tu become one.
- You make me wanna say Bui-ya
- You and me, let’s build a movement together.
- Let’s take this to the bedroom so we can come to a consensus.
- I wouldn’t feel oppressed if you internalized me.
- Hey, malaria kills, get under my mosquito net?
- Can I appropriate you?
Anyways, I hope everyone had an enjoyable Valentine’s Day. I spent the evening helping a friend install and mod a new Star Trek pinball machine. On second thought, maybe I should reconsider these pickup lines. Set phasers to stunning!